– There’s a shirt I love. Every morning it’s the first shirt I think of when I open my closet. It’s rarely there. It’s either on the chair or in the wash but I think of it every single day. Of course, I can’t wear it all the time. But every time I stand in front of a mirror in a shirt that is not that one I don’t look as the man I want to be. There is always that thought that I could look better, be better, if only I was wearing that shirt.
– Are you still talking about the shirt?
– Was I ever?


That feeling

It’s not the Moon, the stars, the night. Nor the waves crashing or the pebbles rolling. The soft wind it is not also. The quiet might be but is not. It’s the fact that she is holding your hand. It’s love.



– Are you OK?
– No… but I never felt better.

She knows that no is just me playing my fantasy of living in a movie so she waits with a smile for my drama to end. It takes over me, like dopamine. She knows it is part of the promise I made to her – it will never be boring.

I am her dramaking, but I still treat her like a queen.


Never Over

We had something wonderful.

There is always someone better, said to me a friend who I saw moments ago smiling as he never smiled before seeing his girlfriend walk into the room. Love of his life, he said one day to describe her. He is one sober motherfucker.
I did my best.
– I see you looking at all those girls wishing one of them will wow you. They won’t. Do you still love her?
– I do.
– No you don’t. You just remember her. You remember everything about her. All the moments, all the little things. You remember the feeling when you made her happy.
– I do.
– Yes you do, and you will. Until you forget. But for you it will take longer, as you remember like no one I met before.
– I do.
– You want her back?
– I do.
– Well, you shouldn’t. She might be good for you but you were too good for her. You need someone who is too good for you.
– I do.
– You think there is no one out there that would like you.
– I do.
– And that is your mistake. People liked you before, people will like you again. And by people I mean beautiful women who will go home smiling after they saw you for the night. If you know what I mean.
– I do.
– I know you do.

And it will never be wonderful again.